So Much Can Change In Just A Moment

For a couple weeks my dad had been coming down with yet another cold that would turn into pneumonia. This had become routine for us. On Saturday the 15th I was out and about and decided to head to a grocery store a little closer to him so he would actually tell me if he wanted/needed something because I was already down there. As per usual he only asked for Cokes and some (bleh) Salisbury steak tv dinners and then a fountain coke and a cheeseburger on my way.
When Jake and I got to his house it was evident that he hadn't left his recliner much in a couple days and his breathing sounded terrible even with his oxygen. We hung out for a bit and I made him promise he'd call, and go into his Dr. if the Dr. told him to.
On Monday morning he called me for the Dr.'s number, the called me again because he'd written it down wrong. Later he called and asked if the kids were sleeping, or could I bring him a Coke and some fries. I told him I had just put Cooper down, but I had just talked to Megan and she was out at the store so I'd call and see if she'd swing some by, otherwise I'd be down once Coop woke up.
Later that afternoon I managed to get my phone from Jake who had been watching Curious George on it. There were two missed calls, one from Megan and one from Jason. As I listened to Jason's message, he called again.
He told me Megan had called him when I didn't answer. When she had taken my dad his coke and fries he was okay when she got there but soon after collapsed and stopped breathing. After intubation and getting his heart beating after three tries by the paramedics they had taken him to McKay. Jason had already called his mom so I could drop the kids off there and run to the hospital.
When I got there I found Megan, Matt, Mitch and my aunt and uncle in the waiting room of the ER. He was stable and they were moving him up to the ICU.
Before long one of the social workers came and led us up to the ICU where we met with another social worker to discuss the situation and so he could explain the ins and outs of the unit. He gave us a direct number for the unit so we could call anytime for and update and other such things.
Finally, the nurse came to take us back to my dad.
Dr. Kirwin was there for that night and she was wonderful. We were able to talk to her about what was going on with him and the outlook. The big worry was the risk of damage done to the brain in the time it was without oxygen. You only have 4 minutes without oxygen before irreparable damage starts to occur. We also learned that he had been without one of his medications for 4 or 5 days and that could have been a contributing factor AND that she had talked to his Dr who had told him to come in that morning, but my dad had told Megan he was just going to call in a prescription.
At that point Megan and I started talking about which of us he'd live with and how we'd legally make that happen because he obviously wasn't taking great care of himself.
We stayed until the shift change because that is when you get the best information as it's being passed to the new nurse (they actually encourage this), then gave him his good night kisses before heading home. I called the nurse before going to bed and he told me that though my dad had been "driving" the ventilator as far as the pace goes most of the day, his oxygen level dropped enough that they decided to sedate him enough that the ventilator would be able to take over more but that quickly got his levels up so all was well for that moment.
I probably only slept two hours tops that night. I called the nurse again the moment I woke up and they said that nothing had changed through the night. Mitch was going to be up there that morning followed by Megan and myself. Lynny, his sister, also spent a majority of the day there. I got there about noon and learned they had done an EEG to test his brain activity. It stole a lot of hope when it only showed a little blip every thirty seconds or so. I spent most of that day in and out of his room talking to him and holding his hand hoping and praying and waiting for him to respond someway... somehow.
The Dr on shift that night was a lung disease specialist at her old practice so she shed a lot of light, both good and bad for us. She said the fact that his body was used to getting less oxygen it might work in our favor as far as time before brain damage occurs. Even then though, she said from looking at everything, if he did leave, she only gave him six months to a year to live. As I'm sure everyone does, Megan and I both kind of thought 'yeah, well you don't know our dad, he's a fighter'. The bright side was she told us that he hadn't responded because he was heavily sedated into an induced coma and would be until they could get his natural reflex more in sync with a more normal pattern, then we could worry about waking him up and weaning him off the ventilator. None of us had known about the induced coma, so suddenly it was okay that he hadn't responded all day. She also said she may order another EEG tomorrow depending on how the night goes to see if it would be safe to take him off the sedation for the test.
Again, kisses, headed home late, called the nurse before bed and tried to sleep.
Woke up, on day 3, the 19th, and called the nurse first thing again. She informed me that they had taken him off the sedation that morning after an okay night. So with high hopes I rushed up to the hospital.
When I got there he was breathing pretty fast, his own reflex driving the pace again, but they'd worked the concentration so his levels were staying nice and high.
Lynny and Mitch weren't far behind me. Shortly after they got there, Dr. Kirwin walked in, back for that days shift. What she said then broke my heart in and instant and brought my world crashing down around me. Based on what they'd seen, she wasn't at all optimistic that he had a fighting chance. It now was not a matter of if, but rather when we would say goodbye, and we had to make that choice. We placed the DNR on his orders, and started calling those we knew we needed to. Never in a million years did I think that I would say goodbye to both of my parents before my 30th birthday, let alone be faced with the decision of when to let one of them pass.
Megan walked through the door shortly after the news came. Then my uncle Roy, Lynny's husband, and my Uncle Mac and his wife Carolen. The doctor was kind enough to come meet with everyone and explain what was going on until we were all clear on it, then we decided that we'd give a few others the chance to come say their goodbyes.
His favorite bartender from The Lounge, Pat, came with her partner Mitzi. She's been our secret spy helping us watch out for him for years and years. She described him as her "heart" because she just loved him so much. His close friend from probably his 20's, Scot, came with his wife Jill. The one last friend we called was Leslie that runs the Shooting Star Saloon. She was another spy and amazing friend to him. With each friend that visited we actually had a great time sitting in a private waiting room and hearing/sharing stories.  It brought a lot of peace to us all I think to have a good laugh and realize that he was surrounded by people that loved him wherever he went.
The rest of the day I spent walking the halls of the hospital, sitting with my dad, sitting in the chapel next to the ICU reading, and more time at his bedside. Just before 6 that night my mom's brother came as well as my cousin Kevin. Jason and Matt both got there too. Lynny and Roy had stuck around, but Mac and Carolen had chose to say their goodbyes and leave earlier in the day. Next to arrive was Mitchell's now fiancé, Shaylee, with her Grandpa, Dean. Mitch has grown to love and respect him and had asked if he would give my dad a blessing. Dean brought an amazing spirit in the room with him. Once everyone had gathered around, we closed the door and curtain and heard a most amazing blessing of peace and comfort and a release of the cares and pains of this world. I can honestly say that the room was instantly full of the peace of The Comforters love.
Soon after, the ventilator was removed, and for a few minutes he sounded just like he did when he slept before his little body finally stopped fighting as it had for too long already.