Stories for Prom Night

Lately, Jake has been giving me a few stories I need to save to embarrass him on his prom night. It is my motherly duty after all.
A couple days ago he and I had just finished brushing our teeth. I hear him say, "towel mommy, all done." As I turn around I see him drying his face with a pair of Jason's dirty underwear. I nearly barfed, and then I couldn't stop laughing. That required a thorough washing of his face after I could compose myself enough to do so.
One of the joys of motherhood is never having a private moment, especially in the bathroom. One of the joys of post partum is having pads for everything. Combine the two and you have some fun stories to bring up later in life.
Jake is constantly getting into my pads every chance he gets. He tells me he needs them for his "Owie".
One afternoon he kept lifting his shirt and holding one of Jason's union stickers over his chest. I soon realized that he thought it was just like the nursing pads he's seen me tucking into a similar place. Oh my.
One day he'll love that I've written these memories not only for me, but for everyone else to see as well.